Crap jokes

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russ979
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Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:21 pm
Location: Lost!

Post by russ979 »

<TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0cm; PADDING-LEFT: 0cm; PADDING-RIGHT: 0cm; PADDING-TOP: 0cm" vAlign=top>SCOUSERS JOIN FERRARI

"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in lessthan 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage overevery other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.




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Nik
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Post by Nik »

A husband and wife were setting up a password for their new computer. The husband put 'mypenis' and the wife fell on the floor lauging because it said "Error, not long enough"
I may be getting older but I REFUSE to grow up :D
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BIGBIMMA
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Location: chomping at the bit !

Post by BIGBIMMA »

got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but the bastards talked me out of it.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]i used to be driven by demons ,
now i make them sit in the back
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Ben
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Location: East Anglia

Post by Ben »

:)
Dum spiro, spero
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russ979
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Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:21 pm
Location: Lost!

Post by russ979 »

Man asks wife "What would you do if i won the lottery?" wife says "Take half then leave you", He replies "Excellent I won

john B
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Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:53 pm
Location: Norfolk

Post by john B »

Bad taste joke !


Ryanair have charged Jennifer Mills Wesleys family

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Ben
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:16 pm
Location: East Anglia

Post by Ben »

Oh my gawd - that is awful !!
Dum spiro, spero
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Jon
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Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:38 pm
Location: Ipswich

Post by Jon »

I was going through a couple of magazines at my local mosque the other day. I was really enjoying myself, then my rifle jammed...

john B
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Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:53 pm
Location: Norfolk

Peanuts !

Post by john B »

Motorsport question ! see attachment !
Attachments
snoopy.jpg

john B
Posts: 1067
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:53 pm
Location: Norfolk

Post by john B »

A TESCO burger walks into a bar and says “Pint please”
“Sorry I can’t hear you “ said the bar man
“sorry” replies the burger “I’m a little bit horse”


Burgers for dinner tonight – good for a stable diet!


Just looked at the TESCO burgers in my fridge....And they’re off!


I always wondered why those TESCO burgers gave me the trots!


A woman has just been taken to hospital after eating a TESCO burger. Her condition is said to be stable!


The good thing about those Horse puns for TESCOs, they have stopped all the Jimmy Saddle jokes!

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