Crap jokes

[pablo]

[Stuart]

I've not checked this thread in ages!

I was going through a couple of magazines at my local mosque the other day. I was really enjoying myself, then my rifle jammed...

Ooooooooooooooooooo

Motorsport question ! see attachment !

Very good

A TESCO burger walks into a bar and says

[Ben]

After finding Horse meat it Tesco burgers, everyone was shocked to find a new discovery..

Cameltoe in Primark leggins..

[Ben]

I have a fear of speed bumps.

But I'm slowly getting over it

[Ben]

Here are the odds for tomorrows race:

7:2 - Thunderbolt
3:1 - Bonny Lad
9:1 - Pandoras Box
15:1 - King Kenny
16:1 - Tescos Finest

[Ben]

"Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

"I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yoghurt."

"It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yoghurt."

[Ben]

My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. "Well," she said, "I've lost a stone. Can you see a difference?"

I picked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean. "The beach has lost a stone," I said. "Can you see a difference?"

[Ben]

I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.

Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.

[Ben]

My mate just said, "What's your favourite mythical creature?"

I said, "Those happy women in Tampax adverts."

[Ben]

"Horse meat DNA found in Tesco and Aldi burgers"

'Thats shocking news' i thought, while eating my donner kebab