Crap jokes
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ScoobieWRX
- Posts: 2136
- Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:42 am
- Location: Northants
- Contact:
Submarine races
[/b]Well what the f*ck did you expect !!!!! :-D
I may be getting older but I REFUSE to grow up 
A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around
the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal
shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,
"You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!"
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you
would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."
The wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the
man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex God
he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex
freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon."
The husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,
and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild
look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him
violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and
grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming,
"YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!
YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"
the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal
shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,
"You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!"
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you
would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."
The wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the
man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex God
he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex
freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon."
The husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,
and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild
look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him
violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and
grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming,
"YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!
YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away!
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ScoobieWRX
- Posts: 2136
- Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:42 am
- Location: Northants
- Contact:
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a
flagpole, looking up.
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were
doing.
Paddy replied, "We're supposed to be finding the
height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder."
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her
bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few
measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6
inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, "Isn't that just typically like a blonde!
We need the height and she gives us the length."
flagpole, looking up.
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were
doing.
Paddy replied, "We're supposed to be finding the
height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder."
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her
bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few
measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6
inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, "Isn't that just typically like a blonde!
We need the height and she gives us the length."
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away!
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ScoobieWRX
- Posts: 2136
- Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:42 am
- Location: Northants
- Contact:
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Bladerider
- Posts: 1597
- Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2006 2:51 am
- Location: nowhere !!!
- Contact:
....I used to be average, now I reminisce !!!
