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Beanpotter's Big Ring Report

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:42 pm
by Beanpotter
Having left it till the Tuesday the 10th before deciding I was going to come with you to jolly Germany on Monday the 16th, it was all a bit manic in the preparation department. Huge thanks to Dave for giving up his free time to make such an excellent job of fitting my new brakes, shocks, springs and ARB on Thursday the 12th and then Shaun Taylor Racing for squeezing me in on Friday the 13th to do the geometry :thumb: If it wasn't for you guys I'd be moping about with everyone else wishing for what could have been but, as it was, I got everything sorted, booked and packed in record time to join you on one of the best trips of my life. :D

After meeting Gareth at Stu's shop, we met up with Rob and Dave for the journey down to Folkestone and after threading our Camel through the eye of the Needle that is Elveden :evil: we made good progress to meet Cherry, Brian, Dunc & George at the 'All you can eat' chinese. Nearly got in to trouble with the management for having a loud conversation with George about him driving a Cinq.(Sounds a lot like 'Chink', a derogatory term use to describe the Chinese :oops: ) After the meal and being turned away from Dante's 10th level of hell: - The cowboy karaoke club (Oh what Divine Comedy!) Stu did his best to attract some pussy...

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We returned to the hotel where George became honorary barman for the night and we decided the portrait on the wall was definitely a relative of the Hotel Management, probably on her mothers' side.

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I then let slip that, because I'd booked my room at the Ringhaus so late, I had got a 4 berth room for little more than a single as this was all they had left. Now I really cannot see how something so innocent as getting a good deal could decend in to me being the 'Butt' of everyones jokes for the rest of the week but let's just say that you couldn't say the word Ring, Sausage, Bratwust, or anything remotely connected with Arses without my name being stuck on the end! :x And can I just clear up that the key to my room did not have a fob in the shape of a Dildo!

Brian then treated us to his famous Welsh accent (which sounds more like Pam Ayres to me :roll: ) and after Mr & Mrs Inebriated turned up outside to have an arse kicking competition with each other :argue: we retired to our beds.
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After a pleasant breakfast, and Rob's lay in, we made our way to the Tunnel (despite Stuart trying to lead us all into the sea!) The check-in was smooth and the passport office was closed so my 11kilos of Bolivian Marching Powder were going to be fine in the boot. :wink:

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We were all squeezed on to the train with Stuart and myself being the last 2 cars on. I took a wander up the train a few carriages on the top floor then down to the lower floor and back through some more carriages and couldn't help noticing there were at least 7 carriages with more than enough room for another car :-k Then I came across the reason. The team organising the loading & parking of 200 cars consisted of 8 women. Who decided that would be a good idea? :roll:

2 fuel stops and 280 thoroughly enjoyable miles later we got to the hotel, commiserated with Frayz, Zak & Andy, dumped our stuff and headed off down to the Ring car park as fast as our little wheels would carry us. 1 x 15lap ticket purchased and we were off. 10 mins later I was back in the car park and a nervous wreck. I'd forgotten what a truly terrifying place it is, with Armco and concrete walls beckoning you in at every corner, huge speeds to be built up and then scrubbed off again before the next bend tries to send you to an early grave. Bumps, dips, crests, hills, negative cambers, slow moving traffic, fast moving traffic, suicidal bikers and the fear of stuffing your pride and joy are all questioning your commitment to this awesome track. The rewards of getting it right are huge in gratification but this pales into insignificance if you get it wrong. Took Rob out on my 2nd lap for a bit of moral support/help with bike spotting and things felt a lot better. Followed Dunc around on my 3rd lap to see his lines and picked up several great new ways to take some of the corners, the biggest difference being that I wasn't really taking any kerbs at this point. Last corner bar 1 at Hatzenbach, kerb. Fuchsrohre/Adenauer-Forst, KERB!. Wipperman, KERB, KERB! almost both wheels this time! This makes so much difference as to the speed it allows you to carry in to the next corner as well as making the whole thing flow a lot better. Last lap of the day was with George and was a 9.25. My best last year after 10 laps was 9.40 and if I was able to get near 9.27 (Dunc's best time last year) then I would have been happy so 2 seconds under was great and yet still felt comfortable. My new set of RE070s, which came highly recommended by Dunc, were beginning to warm up and the grip was fantastic.

Everyone met up at the Pistenklause that night for some great food (great apple strudel, thanks for the recommendation Andy :thumb:) and as you can see, things get a little bit smokey.

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Persuaded Dave to try one of my snails but he didn't seem to be overly enamored and went a bit of an odd colour. The kind of shade of green/white that Cherry had been after her 1st pax lap with Brian :lol:
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After breakfast we went spectating to see what was being tested and take some photos. This was the first time I had done this and our first stop was Pflanzgarten 1. After Dunc and Stu had finished doing donuts we parked up and crossed the road to the track which is only about 30ft away at this point. To hear the screeching of tyres for the first time was worrying to say the least and you're just waiting for the crash which, of course, never comes as the guys driving are almost as good as you get. Every car that came past looked like it was being pushed to the edge, be it a nice new Audi R8 or an ugly looking Merc estate/MPV. We moved on to Brunnchen and walked up the path to look back down on Wipperman, all the time with some great cars screaming past. You get to recognise the sound of a V8 very quickly as they sound the mutt's nuts and like nothing else on the track. Really enjoyed this and didn't take nearly enough photos but here's a few.

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We then headed up to the Schnitzelhaus for sausage & chips x 9 (oh, the English abroad :oops: ) Stu managed to record his now infamous 'Fack' ringtone before tipping half of his lunch into his lap. Go karting followed, which was quality. Gareth tried to drive through anybody unfortunate enough to be on his line :roll: "I didn't see him" was his excuse after punting Stu up the track like a Newton's Cradle. I managed to lap Cherry 4 times, bless, but I did wave each time :D

When we get back to the hotel, Frayz & Zak have had some luck getting the parts they needed which is great news as ADAC wanted 16 days to send his car back to the UK :o

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Down to the track by about 5pm and wait for it to open.

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After the first lap I was approached by one of the marshalls who wanted to do a noise check on my car #-o I'd changed my Prodrive system for an LPS special a few weeks back and was loving the new sound and performance it was giving me but I thought this was going to be my undoing. Frayz had already told us he was chucked off for being 109db (limit 100db) which he was able to rectify with a bung from Maddog so I was shitting myself. "Two and half thousand" came the instruction. I held it at about 2200 and hoped for the best. 99.2db :twisted: :wave: and my car gave a little pop as I switched it off just for good measure. Another couple of laps followed but I couldn't get into it that day, nothing seemed to flow and I was getting a few lines wrong, so sorry for the crap pax lap Dunc :( (and for overtaking that Audi around the outside of Galgenkopf. I saw you press the invisible brake pedal and not know which handle to grab first whilst hanging on for dear life. Not really surprised with my reputation on that corner :oops: ) Roadworks at the end of Kesselchen slowed things up a lot as this is normally a very quick part of the track. 2 sections of Armco were being replaced and you could see broken trees on the other side so one of the test cars had obviously gone straight though :o

Everyone jumped in Brian & Rob's cars for the trip in to Adenau where we had a table booked in Pinochios, a fine pizza restaurant. Everything seemed to be oversized, (including the lady who came in at the end!) The pizzas hung over the edge of your plate by 2" all round and the drinks were huge as well.

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George looked well chuffed when his turned up, but I couldn't manage all of mine so I left the crusts. :wink:

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On Wednesday we headed down to the F1 circuit for a look round the museum which had some fine automotive examples to drool over. This ends up in the shop where we treated ourselves to lots of lovely merchandise. A guided tour followed, which is great value for money and should definitely be done if you get the chance.

The boys look for their names but are sadly dissapointed. :(

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'Dick' Seaman :lol: Sorry :(

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The cafe, however, leaves a lot to be desired and should definitely be avoided at all costs unless of course you like your burgers nuked.

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It was so disgusting that Stu took to eating the dusty plastic flowers. :?

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A few of us go back to finish looking around the museum and after we return to the hotel (and eventually locate Stu's phone in all it's swearing glory) we head of to Breidscheid for a bit more spectating.

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In this picture I think the Fiesta has just got past the Lambo :wink: Note the red M3 at the top of the picture which was drifting all afternoon!

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The afternoon session was fantastic having grabbed a pax with SteveW from Northloop in his Clio straight after Stu. The well rehearsed spiel as we went round was excellent and aside from the horror stories which made me even more wary of corners I already didn't like, some of the lines he showed me were superb and of all the experience I garnished from this trip, the lap with Steve was the most helpful, thanks mate. :thumb: Newly furnished with our Steve experiences, Stu comes out for a pax lap with me which went like a dream. Following Steve's instructions wherever possible, we got round in 9.23 with ease, laughing and joking on the way as well as waving to Cherry with the video camera at Breidscheid as I decided to 'Give it some beans'. Got back to the car park and thought I'd better get some fuel :whistle:

(I put in just over 54 litres in to my 55 litre tank)

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Vodka and Coke seemed to be a good cure for Stu's dissapointment at not getting any laps in that day and then off to the Pistenklause for the evening where Rob managed to attach himself to his soup :roll: and Dunk secured a spot for a Big Power sticker. :D

Nearly, but not quite... :-k

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Hurrah! =D>

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It didn't feel like I had a hangover until I tried to eat my Choco Flakes which were crunching far too loudly so I was forced to wait until they'd gone soggy. Watched Dave and Stu hammer the crap out of the GTR before we set off for a bit of Tobogganing. A couple of tunnels, 1 u-turn and half an hour later we arrive. Made a fuss of the goats and headed off to the start of the run.

Looks innocent enough, what could possibly go wrong?

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Having watched Dunc, George and Brian make it safely down, I followed George up the hill for his second go (as he is indicating) closely followed by Dunc.

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We chased George all the way down and only a bit of braking stopped me from ejecting George from the last corner at high speed. Stu was then persuaded to partake, against his better judgement. I managed to film Dunc, George and Gareth coming past me which looks pretty quick until you see the 'Almighty Orange Behemoth' do his fly-by. I then watch him take the next corner really high up the wall, tip out of the sled, twat Dave on the knee, hit his head on the side of the run and slide to a stop on his face like a giant lavae. The guy running it trots over to check his sled and rides off, smirking at poor ol' Stu still lying injured on his 'Luge-O-Fun' The big man seemed OK and after more Bratwurst & Fries we drove home at a very sedated pace. Back at the hotel it was time for some emergency triage which involved thrusting various pills at Stu and packing him off to his room. Rob and I took the chance to get in some more spectating and headed off in his car. (I'll put some video clips up when I get my new PC as this one's going in the bin 'cos it's dog shit :x ) This is the only pic worth posting from the very sunny afternoon we spent around Fluplatz and Hocheichen.

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When we got back to the hotel Gareth gingerly informed me that Frank had managed to reverse in to my car. There wasn't a lot of damage, just a couple of 8" scrapes on the rear bumper. It'll need a respray but was easily resolved as Frank was fully insured. Needless to say, after it was apparent that I wasn't going to burst into tears, the jokes about being done up the arse quickly ensued. Brian was the person who actually saw the accident and pointed it out to Frank, not suggesting for a second that he wouldn't have admitted it but good spot anyway mate :thumb: Down to the car park ready for opening time. After a couple of laps with George and then Rob as a passenger, we met Dunc in the car park who'd just done an 8.50 and was beaming from ear to ear. I can't say I'm surprised in the least having gone out with him, as the car felt very composed and well set up to suit his own silky smooth driving skills. I got in another couple of laps and managed a 9.06 with Rob which felt quick but not ragged. Everything just seemed to come together as I was able to use all the fantastic advice and demonstrations given to me over the past 3 days to link together a nice clear lap. Followed Dunc out for a warm down lap just for fun and we bimbled around in about 11mins chatting about this and that whereas Dunc's 'slow' lap lasted about 10 seconds and he bombed off to do another 9.30 :roll:

One final visit to the Pistenklause for more stone related food. "The last thing you want is an antenna in your chips" said Stu as he tucked into his king prawns. Rob complains about the size of his bathroom, "I can shit, shower and shave at the same time" but we decide if he's going to do that then it needs to be co-ordinated otherwise he'll end up with a minty fresh arse :lol:

Almost everyone + Stuart with his injuries.

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The last walk back to the hotel involved Stuart putting dusty footprints up a BMW (by taking his shoe off) and shouting "Guten Tag" through a large pipe very loudly.
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Pack, eat breakfast and say our goodbyes to Frank, Martin and Andy as another excellent stay at the Ringhaus draws to an end. We leave at 9am, stop at 11.30, moan about Dunc's sat nav giving late instructions again, nearly get killed by a lorry using the same sat nav, hoon through France and get to the tunnel by 13.30. We all select the early train apart from Rob 'cos he's stupid and likes it France so much! :wink: It was great to see Dave had made it and got onto the train OK. Got back to Stuart's shop about 5.30 after a very strange detour to avoid Elveden which was jammed up. Again. :evil: Dropped Gareth off and was home in time for tea :D

Thanks to everyone for making it such a great trip and can't wait for the next one. Anyone who missed out this time, don't do it again, you won't regret it.

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:47 pm
by Ben
Dean, that is an frekin great write up - I really enjoy your bizarre photo's that appear from no where or right field however you want to look at it.

Thanks for entertaining me. :)

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:03 pm
by Stuart
Deaninator- that was class.

Nice to see getting pulled like an old trench boot for a week by Frank hasn't dented your humour :thumb: ( By the way did he crash into your car 'cos you didn't swallow? ;) )

Some great memoirs of moments I'd forgotten (or chose to) and the trip was a lot richer for your being on it, and I'm sure that we would all agree on that. To see you come back from your disappointments so strongly should be a lesson for anyone of us. Fair play to you for walking the walk.

Try and upload that video of me on the Toboggan when you get the chance. I think a few of the guys on here need to appreciate the speed of 19 stone in a hurry :D

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:04 pm
by RX7
Brilliant write up mate !!!

Some really funny moments I had forgotten about.

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:05 pm
by rolty
:pmsl: Love the write up

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:54 am
by andycaca
brilliant writeup dean, but im let down by the distinct lack of blending in. there must have been lots of opportunities :)

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:23 am
by duncan
Superb write up Dean :D

I think the petrol warning light was on from our lap that we did.... I wasnt "that" scared..... honest ;) Loved it though :thumb:

Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:31 pm
by Beanpotter
My costs FYI

Felixstowe Hotel -